He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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