i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
My feet surprised me
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
