He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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