So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
