So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
