I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
