To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just threw up on my dentist
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
