I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
