he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
