I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
