I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Everything about him screamed your future.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
