You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Randomize
