Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
