Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize