i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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