i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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