How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
