Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
