Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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