just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
All the doctor said was why
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
