are you so shy because you have an std?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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