He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
