ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
