he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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