I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
