Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
