i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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