I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
