i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Randomize
