It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
the day after is always just damage control
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
