okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
