Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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