i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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