normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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