boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
