everyone is single if you try hard enough
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
