Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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