Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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