Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
