Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
