I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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