she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
