I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Randomize
