you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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