Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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