dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
