I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
