My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
