mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
