k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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