A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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